Thursday, December 10, 2009
" Yes, I know that, too. But. . . when i left you, Bella, I left you bleeding.Jacob was the one to stitch you back up again. That was bound to leave its mark - on both of you. I'm not sure those kinds of stitches dissolve on their own. I can't blame either one of you for something I made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, but that doesn't let me escape the consequences. "
I could feel his anger as his mouth discovered my passive resistance. One hand moved to the nape of my neck, twisting into a fist around the roots of my hair. The other hand grabbed roughly at my shoulder, shaking me, then dragging me to him. His hand continued down my arm, finding my wrist and pulling my arm around his neck. I left it there, my hand still tightly balled up, unsure how far I would go in my desperation to keep him alive. All the while his lips, disconcertingly soft and warm, tried to force a response out of mine.
For one brief, never-ending second, an entirely different path expanded behind the lids of my tear-wet eyes. As if I were looking through the filter of Jacob's thoughts, I could see exactly what was going on to give up, exactly what this new self-knowledge would not save me from losing. I could see Charlie and Renee mixed into a strange collage with Billy and Sam and La Push. I could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing me. I could see the enormous red-brown wolf that I loved, always standing as protector as if I needed him. For the tiniest fragment of that second, I saw the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired children, running away from me into the familiar forest. When they disappeared, they took the rest of the vision with them....
Labels: eclipse
what we could have been, 11:36 PM.
